


The Rising Sun of Alderaan

by geekmystic



Series: Sunrise [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Babies, Children, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Secrets, Kidnapping, Military Family, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Pregnancy complications, Slow Burn, canonverse, imperfect parents, mention of pedophilia, mention of rape, no pedophilia happens, no rape happens, post-partum depression, single mother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18442997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekmystic/pseuds/geekmystic
Summary: Shortly after the Battle of Crait, Kylo Ren went missing. In his absence, Grand Marshall Armitage Hux has taken over the First Order while Admiral Organa remains as the leader of the Resistance. Five years later, the two sides are at a stalemate with each controlling half the galaxy. However, that stalemate is about to end when intel emerges on the location of Kylo Ren.





	1. Five Years Later...

**Author's Note:**

> There is a prequel to this story called [Sunset](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17381264/chapters/40905146). It is not *required* reading but it is two chapters of smutty goodness.
> 
> This story is tagged 'children', 'babies', 'pregnancy'. This entire story focuses around the child of Rey and Ben Solo. Her name is the very first word of this fic. If reading about children, babies, or hard pregnancies bothers you, or triggers you, please turn back now. This is right of the box. No buildup.
> 
> If I need to tag something else, please kindly let me know.

“Charis! Quit making the food dance and  _ eat it _ !”

“ _ Momma _ , they're not _ dancing _ . They're _ fighting _ ,” the little girl across from Rey stated very confidently.

Charis was the raven-haired, four year old girl that Rey, the child’s mother, was trying to convince to eat something. The little girl was commanding a mighty space battle with long, blue beans and small, purple seed pods. Charis had turned her nose up at eating them and set them afloat when Rey looked away to her datapad. Some small part of Rey was pleased to see her little girl tap into the Force so easily. Today, however, Rey was just exasperated which showed as she set the pad down, put her face in her hands, and sighed. It had been exactly five years since Crait. Which meant five years since the night Rey's entire life shifted.

Before, she was a scavenger with high ideals. Rey wanted to be a Jedi and a resistance fighter, a hero like in all the stories she had heard growing up from various travelers. She wanted to find a place she belonged after abandoning hope of her family returning to Jakku. Because of that, she had been entrusted with a vision and pursued it across the galaxy. Right into the arms of Kylo Ren. Rey always reminded herself of his true name. Ben Solo had died long ago at Luke’s temple. With Luke’s betrayal, Kylo had made his choice. She fully realized this a month after Crait, when Kylo Ren had abandoned her. She often wondered at the purpose of the vision she had of him on Ahch-To. It was a simple vision. Kylo standing tall with a blue saber ignited in one hand, proudly proclaiming, “I am Ben Solo. A Solo, like my father before me.”

The reality proved much different. Kylo Ren may have killed his master but he did not turn to the Light. He may have expressed silent regret during those moments in front of the Falcon but he did not come for her. However, if she had not gone to him, and to his bed, she would not be pleading with a little girl right now to eat her vegetables. While raising a child alone was exhausting, Rey could never regret the decision to keep Charis. Part of her thought that maybe this was what the vision meant. That Charis would carry on the Solo name and the spirit of the Skywalkers. That Kylo would leave them but some part of him would live on and Rey, along with Leia, Finn, and Rose, would get a chance to fix the mistakes of the past through her. Rey rebuilt Anakin's saber to partly reflect what she saw in the vision and she hoped Charis would carry it one day.

For record-keeping purposes, Rey took on the Solo name. Leia had revealed that it was basically a bastard name. Han received it as an orphan when he enlisted in the imperial navy. The recruitment officer had given him that name because he was alone. Rey, who had been abandoned all her life, thought the name suited her perfectly. She always told herself that it had everything to do with Han being the first positive father figure in her life and nothing to do with Ben. That's what she told anyone who asked. She was Rey Solo because of Han and Leia's hospitality. Now Charis carried that name with her. Charis Organa Solo. The fact that it was also her biological father's birth name was a coincidence.

“Charis! If you don't eat your vegetables, you can't stay the night with Aunt Rose.”

The girl's lips quivered. “Momma, no, I want to go with Auntie!”

“Then eat.” Rey said sternly, picking up her data pad once again.

One by one, the blue beans and purple pods landed on the plate. Charis stabbed at them with a fork. Rey's heart broke a little to see her daughter's lip tremble. She looked so much like Ben.  _ Not Ben, Kylo. _ It matched the way Kylo's lip trembled when he proposed to her in the ravished throne room.  _ Please _ , he had said with an outstretched hand. Rey sighed once again but smiled. “Why don't you make them float into your mouth? That's a fun game, isn't it? All the bad aliens get eaten by the space monster.  _ Rawr _ !” Rey set down the pad and raised her hands like claws and snarled. Both girls laughed and Charis was now eating her late lunch.

In all, Rey was happy. Her life wasn't easy but it was magnitudes of order better than scrapping on Jakku. Rey would never have been able to carry a child and plunder old imperial cruisers. Her and the child would have likely died in the sand. When she conceived, she had friends to support her when she couldn’t carry her weight. However, only Leia and Chewie knew the whole truth about Charis’ conception. Rey had let everybody else guess. Some assumed she had come to the Resistance already pregnant from some random scavenger. It wasn't a bad guess. Rey had been with the Resistance less than a week before her one night with Kylo. Some assumed it was Luke, especially with how protective Leia became around Rey, treating Rey like family. Rey never actively shut that one down.

The only rumors she did shut down were that Charis belonged to Finn or Han. With Finn, it was easy enough to dismiss. Charis had none of his features. Regarding Han, Rey wouldn't harm his reputation as a devoted, although estranged, husband to Leia to in anyway dignify the rumor. Also, Finn was with her the whole time and would know it was a lie. Charis did look like Han in some ways though. It was a good thing nobody had really known Han all that well, or Kylo for that matter, to notice any similarities.

Only one person had brought up the possibility that Charis belonged to Kylo Ren, and that was Poe Dameron. Not many people were aware that Rey had been interrogated by Kylo Ren himself. Poe postulated that Kylo Ren had raped her while in custody, perhaps for the very purpose of breeding, that he had sensed her power and wanted an heir. Rey trounced him that day. Her staff had flown to her hand in an instant and she swung at his ribs, breaking two of them. Then she swung at his head, giving him a concussion. Poe had thought to eventually make a grand gesture of marrying Rey and helping her raise her child, seeing as they were “torture buddies” but not after that day. Rey later told Leia that Kylo Ren was many things but he was absolutely not a rapist. If anybody else thought that was the case, they now knew better than to voice that opinion on the same  _ planet  _ as her. As the Resistance grew, Leia managed to keep Rey close and Poe far away.

Finn and Rose believed that Luke was the father. They had heard the rumor and Rey never said he wasn’t. She didn't want to lie to them but they would never understand the connection she thought she had with Kylo Ren. Also, the thought of being with Luke in that way made her ill.  He had betrayed his entire family and created Kylo Ren. He had refused to help her which incidentally sent her to Kylo Ren's bed and to eventually be abandoned by him. No, even if Luke were young and handsome, she would not have bedded him. 

However, this was a good way to get Finn and Rose to take Charis on this particular day every year. Or really any day she was feeling heavy with grief. They would think she's mourning Luke, but in reality, Rey would grieve for the man that apparently never existed, Ben Solo. Rey would grieve for the hope she held in her arms that night, the hope now embodied by Charis. She would grieve the last five years of raising a child alone. 

Although Rey had a great support system, Charis was ultimately her responsibility. It was daunting. So many nights, Rey cried for someone, anyone, to help her, to fully take on this burden with her. Not for an hour, or a day, but forever. She cried into the Force for Ben to come to her, to see his little girl, to be a father to Charis. Then she would sob all the more because Ben Solo was a fabrication. Ben Solo would drop everything to be a father. Ben Solo would change diapers and feed their child late at night when Rey was exhausted. Ben Solo would gush when Charis learned to say “dada" or took her first steps. What Ben Solo would  _ never _ have done is disappear.

Kylo Ren, who had just ascended to the throne of the First Order, disappeared without a trace forty days after the Battle of Crait. The bond between Rey and Kylo Ren never reopened so Rey had nothing to offer. The First Order blamed the Resistance and the Resistance denied all culpability. The Resistance had good intel that Kylo Ren voluntarily abandoned his post but nobody could locate him. A couple weeks after the news, Rey realized she was pregnant. She had sensed the growing light in her womb (and the nausea in her belly) but kept telling herself that they had used protection. Protection with a 99.3% prevention rate as she later found out. That, and her non-existent cycle should have made Charis an impossibility. Apparently, Snoke’s comment about her ovulating had been correct and special lubricant could not get in the way of the will of the Force.

Curiously, Rey never sensed any darkness in her child. Leia had insisted she would. She insisted that Ben always had a shadow underneath his brilliant light but Rey never felt it. Rey and Leia both concluded Charis’ existence was an answer to the vision. Charis had tantrums, of course, amplified by her Force-sensitivity, but those were swiftly dealt with. For those, Rey was grateful to have Leia's help. Leia was a gigantic support in guiding Rey through all the milestones of pregnancy, infant care, and parenting. Although, Rey did have to find her own style eventually which sometimes rankled with Leia. Early on, Rey had adamantly refused a childcare droid. For one, Rey didn't even know those existed. Two, Rey had grown up around machines. It was too much of a reminder of her own childhood. The closest Charis got to a nanny droid was playing with Threepio and Artoo in the next room when they visited Leia and that was only in the last year or so.

The last time Leia brought up nanny droids had been the only time Rey had really raised her voice against the woman.  _ “She's not Ben and she's not your child! This is not your second chance at motherhood! She's mine and some things I have to figure out on my own!” _  Rey hadn't meant to be so harsh that day but it had been building up for over two years, through the pregnancy and past Charis' first birthday. Thankfully, Leia had stuffed down any pride she had and actually respected Rey all the more for it. They both agreed that as long as Charis was fed, clothed, sheltered, and happy, everything would be ok. Leia continued to help and be a part of Charis’ life but was careful to never undermine Rey.

In the five years since Crait, the First Order had gained strength but were now at a standstill. While they controlled much of the core and inner rim and had a good foothold in the mid-rim, the outer rim proved resilient. Much to the ire of Grand Marshal Armitage Hux. In the last five years, the Resistance had grown from tens to thousands to millions. Rey went along with the story that she had killed Snoke in his own throne room. However, she had countered the First Order’s narrative of being a diplomatic guest, insisting that she had been taken prisoner.

Between that, Holdo's maneuver, and Skywalker's showdown, hope had once again been ignited. Poe was eventually promoted to Admiral and was charged with patrolling a large sector of the mid-rim, gathering intelligence on First Order movements. Leia was now Fleet Admiral with Rey directly under her as an Admiral.

Rey continued to watch Charis float pods into her mouth and silently chuckled as the little girl growled at each one before chomping down on it. Just as Charis was taking the last bite, Rey’s holopad lit up. Finn and Rose were standing outside the front door to her apartment. Rose’s belly had begun to round out with their first child, a boy named Han. Rey showed the pad to Charis and she squealed and clapped. She immediately ran down the hall to open the door with Rey not far behind.

“Auntie Rose!!!” the child screamed. Charis wrapped her arms around Rose’s legs.

Rey admonished the girl. “Be careful, Charis! Remember, she has a baby in her belly.”

Charis looked up at Rey and replied, “Sorry, momma.”

“Good girl,” Rey said. Her eyes softened. “Just be careful. Go play in your room for awhile. I want to talk with Finn and Rose.”

“Awww but I wanna go now!”

Rey pointed to the child’s bedroom with a stiff arm and said, “Go.” To Rose and Finn, she waved her hand and said, “Come in.”

Rose went straight to the bathroom. Rey could only smile, knowing the feeling all too well. Finn hugged Rey tightly and asked, “So how are you doing?”

They walked over to the nearby couch and sat down side by side. “I’m…okay. Charis keeps me busy so I haven’t really had time to think about it.” Which was true. However, the little girl was looking more and more like her biological father everyday. It was harder to forget where she came from.

Finn’s face ghosted with concern. “Well, maybe you should keep her tonight. So you won’t be alone. She’s the best thing that has come out of all this.”

Rey laughed and smiled. “Oh, I can’t do that. Charis has been talking about this for two days.  She loves you and Rose. Besides, I’ll be having dinner with Leia later on. I won’t be completely alone.”  _ You’re not alone. _ Kylo’s voice briefly echoed through her head but she shook it away.

Finn took her hand in his. “Well, that’s good. Me and Rose worry about you.”

“I know, Finn. Thank you.”

Rose walked in right then and sat on the other side of Finn. “So what’s up?”

“Oh, well, I just wanted to tell you not to mention Luke or any of it to her. I still haven’t told her anything about her father.” Rey’s insides twisted at the lie. She wasn’t really sure what to tell Charis. Rey didn’t want to lie but didn’t want to scare her either. Leia cautioned sooner, rather than later. Charis had been starting to ask questions, especially with Rose’s belly growing. Rey thought back to the day that she explained to Charis why Rose was sick a lot and couldn’t play so much.

\----------------------------------

_ “Rose is growing a baby in her belly, hazelnut. A lot of mommies feel sick at first.” Charis was lying on the couch, sniffling, having been denied another playdate with Auntie Rose and Unca Finn. _

_ She looked up at her mother with a knowing look and said, “Maybe she just has to poop!” _

_ Rey to stifled her laughter. “I’m sure she tried that,” Rey said softly. _

_ “Or Unca Finn can rub her belly!” _

_ “Charis, you’re so smart,” Rey gushed. She bent down to kiss her little girl’s forehead. “I’m sure Uncle Finn has rubbed her belly plenty of times.” _

_ The little one scrunched her face in thought. After a few seconds, she asked, “Momma, where do babies come from?” _

Oh no, here we go, _ Rey thought.  _ Think, think!  _ This is where Leia came in handy. Leia grew up with parents that loved her and, like a politician, knew how to answer tough questions. However, Rey had learned a lot from the older woman. “Well, hazelnut, Finn made a seed and planted it in Rose’s belly.”  _ Ok, ok, that sounds reasonable,  _ Rey thought. _

_ “Was I planted in your belly, mommy?” The child reached out to Rey and put a hand on her belly, staring in awe. The wheels were obviously turning. _

_ “Yes, sweetheart, you were planted in my belly. You grew right where you hand is.” _

_ Leia had taught Rey to look for teachable moments. Rey decided this was one of them. She picked up her child and they sat in a cozy chair together and talked. _

_ “But I don’t remember that.” _

_ “No one does, Charis. No one remembers being in their mommy’s belly.” _

_ “Ohhhh...like, how I don’t know what happens when I’m asleep?” _

_ “Exactly, Charis. You slept in my belly for nine whole months. Rose has another seven months left. After that, the baby will wake up and come out of her.” _

_ “Did Unca Finn plant me in your belly?” _

_ Rey’s face immediately turned puce. “No, Finn did  _ not _ plant you in my belly.” _

_ “Who did, mommy?” _

_ “He was a friend and he went away, sweetheart.” _

_ “Did he leave because of me?” Charis didn’t seem too particularly fussed about the idea. But it hit Rey right in the center of her raw and scathed soul. _

_ Rey held her child close, mostly to hide her tears which welled up instantly. “No. He absolutely did  _ not _ leave because of you. That was  _ not _ your fault. At all. Ever. You’re my precious, beautiful, darling girl. Do you understand me?” _

_ “Yes, mommy.” _

_ Rey thought to herself,  _ When I find you Kylo Ren, I  _ will _ run you through with Anakin's saber. No hesitation. I’ll have the full backing of the Republic Fleet to do it.

\----------------------------------

Rose turned to the side and leaned over Finn, “Rey, does she know  _ anything _ ?”

“That he was a friend and that he went away. That’s all she knows.” Finn and Rose looked at each other. Rey knew that they didn’t agree with her decision but she could sense that they wouldn’t undermine her. “I know you think she needs to know the truth. She will, in her own time.”  _ The question is, will  _ you _ be able to handle the truth? _

“Ok, Rey,” Finn replied. “We won’t say anything. This is just a sleepover. And if she asks questions?”

“How about this? You can talk about Luke the hero, if she asks. If. But you can’t talk about him as family.”

“Ok, Rey. We won’t bring him up.” Rose confirmed.

“Alright then. Charis!” Rey called. Little footsteps echoed down the hall and soon a little hazel-eyed wonder appeared in the living room. “Are you ready to go with Auntie Rose?”

The little girl looked at Rose with soft, round eyes. “Can I go now?”

“Yes, sweetie. Give your mommy a kiss.” Charis jumped up onto her mother’s lap and kissed the corner of her mouth. Rey then booped her nose. “Be good for Aunt Rose and Uncle Finn. Remember your manners.”

“Yes, mommy. I’ll be good. I promise.”

The three adults leapt into action. Well, Rey and Finn leapt. Rose sort of rolled forward until her feet caught her weight and then she straightened up. The stroller had been prepped the night before with everything they would need. Rey told Charis to get her stuffed porg from her bed. With the precious bird in hand, Finn, Rose, and Charis took off for their apartment three complexes down from hers.

“I'll either be here or with Leia if you need anything.” Rey called out. Finn waved and they kept on walking.

Rey closed the door and sighed. She looked back at her spacious apartment. As an admiral, she had one of the more spacious accommodations. Evidence of a small, human female were everywhere. Toys strung out, hair bands flung in every direction, sippy cups sitting on various surfaces. Sometimes under those surfaces. Rey busied herself picking these things up. All the while, she marveled at how lucky she was to have such a dwelling. Running water, climate control, actual furniture. Rey from just over five years ago would have laughed at such a ridiculous notion. She would have equally scoffed at the idea of having a child. Especially a child with the First Order’s former second-in-command. But here she was, in her cooled apartment, picking up dolls and toy blasters, and starting a load of laundry. The cleaning droid would squawk at her when it came through tomorrow morning but Rey didn’t care. Rey was used to handling things herself.

With the apartment picked up, Rey stripped down and ran a bath. She pouted at the stretch marks still visible on her abdomen and the small pouch that had formed as well as the thin scar over the apex of her thighs. Rey had been above average in height but very lean when she became pregnant. Given her history, she was immediately classified as high risk. Her doctor had to weigh refeeding with increased caloric needs for the pregnancy. However, Rey surprised all her doctors by having a relatively smooth pregnancy for someone in her state but she still required interventions. Her body now bore the evidence of this. Rey had not been insecure about her body before. She certainly wasn’t when she went to bed with Kylo. That is until he abandoned her. Rey just could not find it in her to trust again. Not with her scarred body and not with the wellbeing of her child at stake.

Rey threw in a bath bomb and spent a glorious hour just soaking. She commanded a datapad to float to her so she could finish some reports. Her Jedi skills were more intellectual than physical and spiritual these days. The last five years saw her translating the texts she stole from Ahch-To and constructing a new saber from the pieces of Anakin's. However, with a child, she almost never saw the front lines. Leia thought she might take on students but Rey didn't feel led to do that. It didn't exactly work out for Luke after all. Rey's only student so far had been Charis and she just seemed to swim and breathe in the Force like a fish.

Admiral Rey Solo had been put in charge of research and development. In her first year, that had meant scavenging parts from old fighters to get other old fighters off the ground. With the Force, she didn't need to strain herself physically but she had to be careful as it still took something out of her. Rose and her taught their mechanical skills to many. When the Mon Calamari came through with a brand new fleet, Rey could then focus on improving what worked. She now had a substantial nest egg from selling her designs and consulting. Between Rey’s work, and being an heir to an Elder House, Charis would want for nothing in life.

Rey stepped out of the bath feeling like a new woman. She dried off and stared in the mirror. Not much about her face had changed over the years, but Rey knew where to look. Faint frown lines on her forehead. Her eyes had dulled from bright hazel to soft brown. Skin muted from relative lack of sun. She even found a grey hair a week ago. Rey had also filled out. She was still strong and fierce but her edges were softer now.

She put on a yellow, floor length dress that cinched at the waist and brown sandals. Her dinner with Leia was in an hour. Rey idly thought about changing her hair. Ever since the Battle of Crait, she donned neither the three buns of her youth or the simple style she wore on the Supremacy. Since then, she wore her hair in a single bun. Rey shook the frivolous notion away and went back to her reports. She signed off on some new patrols before grabbing a bottle of wine from her refrigerator and heading out the door.

Leia lived in the penthouse in Rey’s building. Only Rey and Chewbacca had the code to enter as they pleased. Chewbacca went back to Kashyyk after Crait. He admitted that the Millennium Falcon held too many memories of Han. Rey remembered the day he solemnly asked to be taken back home. She had just discovered she was pregnant. They left in the middle of the night for the Wookie homeworld. Rey had needed space from everybody. The whole Resistance had fawned over her when they found out the news. The Last Jedi pregnant with another generation of Force-sensitives. For a woman who spent most of her days alone, it had been too much. She enjoyed her solo flight home as much as she could. Needless to say, Leia had been pissed that Rey had not taken a copilot but she ultimately understood Rey’s actions. The Millenium Falcon now sat deep underground in a secret location.

Chewbacca did not keep any formal affiliation with the Resistance but he did visit sometimes. He was one of the few civilians (other than dependants) allowed on the planet. Charis and him could play for hours. One of Rey’s favorite pictures of Charis was of her little diapered butt curled up on his large, hairy chest, her little fingers twined tightly in his long hair.

Rey entered the elevator and punched her personal code for Leia’s penthouse and was at her door in under a minute. C-3P0 greeted her, “Admiral Solo! We’ve been expecting you! Will Miss Charis be joining us today?”

She smiled and replied, “No, not today, Threepio. Perhaps next time.”

C-3P0 slumped his artificial shoulders. “Oh dear. Well, Prin-, I mean, Admiral Organa is waiting for you. I’ll take that for you, Admiral.”

“Thank you, Threepio.” Rey handed over the wine and strode through the door with the gold metallic droid following. Down a short hallway was a sitting room. It was simply decorated with two slate grey couches facing each other, parallel to the entrance. In between them was a black table. The floor was covered in cream colored carpeting and the walls a dull grey. It seemed to contradict Leia’s outspoken and assertive personality. However, Leia somberly explained long ago that she gave up on frivolous decorations and accoutrements seeing as they never knew when they would have to pick up and leave again.

Leia stood facing a stone hearth built into the wall opposite the entrance. She wore a dark blue, loose-fitting dress. Like Rey, her hair was put up in a bun. However, Leia’s bun was woven with several braids. Threepio wobbled off to the kitchen but Rey stood at the end of the hall  “Leia?” Rey called to her.

The older woman snapped her head toward Rey’s voice. “Oh. Hello, Rey. How are you doing today?”

“I’m...okay. How are you? You seem a little lost in thought.” Leia lightly shook her head and moved to sit on one of the couches. Rey took that as her cue to follow.

Leia sighed as she sat down. “I was thinking that it has been about forty years since my homeworld was destroyed. But then that was also the very same day I met Han. Five years ago, I lost my brother on Crait but Charis was conceived that same day. My son went missing forty days after that. Did you know that some believe that the soul enters the fetus 40 days after conception?”

Rey raised an eyebrow. “I did not know that.”

Leia leaned back and turned slightly toward Rey. “It’s not a universally held belief, of course. I don’t know that I believe it myself. I don’t remember when I first felt Ben in the Force.”

Rey brought her knee up on the couch to turn toward Leia.  She rested her arm on the back of the couch and rested her head on her fist. She looked away in thought. “I think that’s about when I felt something stirring. I was in denial though. It’s hard to say exactly.”

“I remember.” Leia said with a slight fondness. Rey had been clueless about cycles and reproduction other than “sex made babies”. She had been able to count on one hand the number of menses she had before conceiving. Rey had only had about one a year since about 14 years of age until she became pregnant. They were all memorable in that her womb cramped viciously and she bled heavily. It had been hard to keep hydrated and fed during those experiences. Rey nearly cried when the doctor said she was supposed to bleed 7 days out of every 28 day cycle. Post-partum, Rey’s cycle seemed to regulate with mild symptoms and manageable bleeding.

Leia began again. “I just noticed the pattern is all. This being five years exactly since our lowest point. I lose something but get something in return.”

Rey stared fondly at her mother figure. “Maybe we’ll break the cycle with Charis. She’s in no danger of being sold to junk traders like I was at close to her age.”

Leia smiled. “You are quite right, there. I’m glad you are raising my granddaughter. I can’t think of anyone else more suited to manage our bloodline’s…issues.”

“Thank you, Leia.” Rey bowed her head slightly. While her and Leia did have differences, Leia’s approval meant a lot to Rey.

A mischievous glint appeared in Leia’s eyes. She turned to Rey again and asked, “You know…  Admiral Corrick is single. I could put a bug in his ear.”

Rey laughed. “I know him. He’s…not unfortunate looking. But…I don’t know…

Leia put a hand on Rey’s knee. “Obviously, you don’t have to go out with him if you don’t want to. You do great with Charis by yourself but I can’t imagine how lonely it is.”

“It is. But…”

“You don’t trust people.” Leia said flatly.

“Well, yes. Finn, Rose, Chewie, and you are the only ones I trust with my daughter. Threepio and Artoo are a distant fifth and sixth and I still won’t leave them completely alone with her. Nevermind the fact that I would have to eventually tell this person who Charis’ father is. Finn and Rose don’t even know. They still think she’s Luke’s kid.

The matriarch’s face contorted. She hated putting up with that rumor as much as Rey did.  Luke, as Leia explained to Rey years ago, was asexual bordering on homoromantic. In other words, “No way in hell is that plausible.” But then, nobody had really known Luke.

Just then, C-3P0 walked in and announced that dinner was ready. Leia and Rey got up and moved to the dining room. The scene was eerily familiar. A square, slate grey table sat in the middle with two chairs on opposite sides. Several polished dishes were laid out. It was not exactly like Kylo’s rooms on the Supremacy but there was a similarity. Rey recognized one dish as chocolate cake. She made a simple announcement of its presence. “Cake.”

“Rey?” Leia looked concerned now.

“Oh it's nothing. The first time I ever had cake was with your son. That night. Did I ever tell you that? It kinda started that whole...situation. It seems you and your son had similar tastes.”

Rey finally sat down across from Leia and she smiled. “That doesn't surprise me a bit.”

They dug into the meal and ate quietly. Rey had been so focused on getting Charis to eat earlier that she hadn't eaten all that much herself. As such, she was glad to have an uninterrupted meal.

Before they could get into the cake, a question popped into Rey's mind. It was not a new question but at the five year mark, Rey finally felt comfortable enough to ask it. “I know we talk quite a bit about hunting down Kylo Ren but surely you miss him. How do you do it? How do you stay so rational?”

Leia pursed her lips and looked down. Rey worried that she was now angry. However, Leia’s tone was light. “It's very hard. Believe me. But I have to remember that he made his choice. I wasn't a perfect mother. I know that. Ideally, I would have waited a couple more years to have children but, well, Endor is just beautiful and Han was very sweet.” Leia smiled, obviously thinking about the early days with Han. “As you know, the war officially ended the day Ben was born. There was so much work to be done and, well, Ben was left behind. He probably didn’t even have the language to express his rage and bitterness, not to mention Snoke stoking his fears. But he remained bitter and unforgiveness was  _ his _ choice. I know that's easy to say as one of the people he felt wronged by but that's the thing about unforgiveness. It's very black and white. There's no room to understand the other party.”

Mulling it over, Rey added, “I'm sure it would have seemed like weakness on his part.” 

Finger pointed in Rey’s direction, Leia replied, “I'm absolutely sure of that, Rey. The other terrible thing about unforgiveness is that it forever tethers you to the past, to the thing that broke you. It feels like strength but it’s not.”

Rey now rested her chin on her hands. “What do you mean?” She remembered Kylo's words from five years ago.  _ “Let the past die.” _ It had irritated her because he had seemed intent on bringing it up every time they talked.

Leia dabbed at her mouth. “People think forgiveness is about saying, ‘What happened was alright.’ but it's not. It's about taking a lightsaber to the chain that holds you bound to that person you can't forgive.” Leia pantomimed the action and then held her hands in front of her as if blocking a hit. “By doing that, you're saying, ‘What happened was so bad that I'm not going to react to it.’ It's actually about freedom and free people are dangerous, Rey. Free people see beauty in chaos. Free people see hope in the middle of the night. Free people see Light in the Darkness.”

Rey sat back in her chair. Leia’s words wormed through Rey’s brain until they touched an old wound in her soul. “I guess that's kind of the reasoning I used to stay on Jakku so long. It wasn't necessarily unforgiveness for my parents. At least, not the hateful, explosive kind but that chain was there. It literally took the First Order shooting at me to break free.”

Leia pointed her finger at Rey again and said, “Exactly. You weren't hateful of your parents but it can creep up on people that way. Now, as to your question. I can stay rational _ because _ I love and have forgiven my son, not in spite of it. My question for  _ you _ , Rey: Have _ you _ forgiven my son?”

Rey lurched backward as if hit across the chest. She rubbed at her neck and looked away. “I...I don't know. I never thought about it. I feel like I've cried enough tears for him, for what I hoped he'd be. Sometimes I try to reach out, you know? I know he’s closed us off but I try and-” Rey’s pupils dilated and her breathing completely stopped. As she was speaking, she had been reaching out into the Force to find some sign of him. She had always come up empty but now...

_ Get that containment field back online now! How long has it been down! Why wasn’t I called? _

_ Sir, it’s just a containment field in a backwater warehouse. We didn’t think it needed your attention. We’ve been working for several hours to get it back online. _

_ Next time, call me immediately. I want all hands on this. This particular room has perishables that we can’t afford to lose. _

“Rey!” Leia cried. “Threepio, call a medic!” Rey fell out of her chair and landed in a heap on the floor. She frantically clawed at the floor for purchase as she sucked in mouthfuls of air. Leia knelt down beside Rey and stroked her back. “Breathe, Rey. In. Out. In. Out.” A med droid rolled in and draped a nasal cannula over Rey’s face and helped her get in a sitting position.

With that done, Rey shooed the droid away, leaving the canister of oxygen behind. “I-I’m ok. I heard something. I’ve never heard  _ anything _ when I’ve reached out to him. Maybe his control is loosening. Maybe I’m breaking through?”

Leia clutched Rey's hands and lightly stroked them. It was yet another reminder of Kylo Ren.  Urgently, she asked, “What did you hear?  _ Anything _ could help us find him.” Leia looked frantic. This would be the first clue they’ve had in five long years. The Republic, and Rey in particular, would finally have justice.

Rey nodded. “I felt like I was drowning. The voices were muffled but I could understand them. Something about a containment field going offline. Somebody was worried about their perishables. Does that mean anything to you?”

“Not yet.” Leia admitted with a frown. “But I’ll get my best people on it. Quickly, write down everything exactly as you remember and any details. Accents, slang, jargon. Feelings you had.  Every last detail. Was Kylo speaking?”

“No. Wait…no. I don't think so.” Rey rubbed her temples to jog her memory. “It was like they were underwater.”

Leia shoved a holopad at Rey and urged her to write it all down. As soon as Rey took the holopad, a call came in. Rey's heart sank through her feet and down to ground level. It was Rose. Rey connected the call and a tear-stained face came into view.

“Rose! What's happening?! Is Charis alright?!”

Rose looked behind her and bit her lip. “Finn's with her now. I-I had to leave. It wasn't safe. I'm sorry, Rey.” Her voice broke and a fresh stream of tears rolled down her face.

Rey's face echoed Rose. “What happened?! Tell me!”

After a deep breath, Rose said, “She was fine. Until...until, a few minutes ago. We were…eating ice cream...when she screamed and put her hands over her mouth...and the bowl shattered while sitting on the table. She wasn't hurt, but things kept exploding.”

Rey blinked back tears. “I understand, Rose. You were worried about the baby.”

Rose was quick to reply, “I think…I think, Finn has her calmed down. I can't figure out what caused it, Rey.”

“Leia and I will be right over.” Rey disconnected the call.

Leia asked, “You think she saw something too?”

“I do. Let's go.”

“After you, Rey.”

The elevator ride down seemed to stretch for eons. At the surface, Leia's speeder was prepped and they zipped the quarter mile to Finn and Rose's building. Then they suffered another elevator ride and were let off on the fifth floor. Rey instantly spotted Rose waiting outside her own apartment. Rey went right past her and barged in, forgoing all politeness. Inside, her eyes were immediately drawn to the quivering figure on Finn's lap. Rey plopped down beside Finn and took Charis from him. She cradled the child and rocked her like a newborn.

Sweeping the damp hair from Charis’ eyes, Rey asked, “Hazelnut, momma's here. What happened?”

“The sleeping man was waking up. He was scared, momma. I'm sorry, Unca Finn. I tried real hard to be a good girl.”

Finn put an arm around Rey and stroked Charis’ foot. “Don't worry about the mess, sweetie. Tell your momma what happened. We want to  _ help  _ you.”

Charis sighed and she clenched her fists over her chest. “ _ I told you. _ The sleeping man started to wake up and he was scared. I wanted to help him, momma, but I was scared too.”

Rey squeezed her child tighter to her chest. “I know what that's like, sweetheart, to want to help someone but not being able to.”

Charis looked up at her momma with large eyes. “Will _ you _ help him, momma? Sometimes he says your name. Your grown up name.”

It was Leia's turn now. “You've seen this man before?”

“Not a lot, nana. Only when I'm  _ really _ tired but can't sleep. When I see him, I fall right asleep. You don't see the sleeping man at night, momma?”

“No, honey, I've never seen him.” Rey took a deep breath and centered herself before asking her next question. “Charis? What does the man look like?”

“Oh momma, he's really tall. And _ wide _ . As wide as Finn, momma. But he's got skin and hair like mine.”

Rey kept very still but inwardly she was screaming at Finn and Rose to not connect the dots that she was connecting. Finn had bulked up in the years since he defected. He could easily match Kylo Ren's physique today.

Rose chimed in, “You know who that sounds like right?”

“Yeah.” Rey said quietly, staring at Charis’ hair.

Finn then chimed in. “Rey, why is your four year old having visions of that monster?”

“I think we need to go home.” Rey said flatly.

The girl squirmed in her mother's arms. “Momma, no! I'll be good. I promise!”

Rey patted the girl’s back. “I know, sweetie. Mistakes happen. This wasn't your fault.”

“But I don't want to go!” Charis then tried to pull away from her mother.

Rey held on tighter. “I know but Aunt Rose needs to rest now.” She threw a little bit of suggestion into her statement, hoping Rose’s mind took the bait.

Rose bent over and took ahold of Charis’ hand and kissed it. She assured the little girl. “Nobody's mad at you, hazelnut, but you need to do what momma says, ok?”

Leia quietly entered some commands into her datapad. “I've sent for a cleaning droid. You take care of that baby, Miss Tico.”

Rose nodded her head. “Thank you, admiral.”

“Thank you.” Finn replied.

Rey found that they really hadn't touched the stroller as Charis had only been gone for a couple of hours. This meant a quick getaway. The faster they left, the faster Charis accepted that she was staying the night at home. Acceptance was relative though as Charis wailed all the way to the door of their building. Once inside, she began to tire out and was asleep by the time they reached their apartment.

Leia had taken her speeder back and was waiting by Rey’s door. They walked in together and Leia sat patiently at the dining room table as Rey tucked Charis in. Rey soon emerged and threw herself into the chair across from Leia. Jumping to business, Leia said, “I've scheduled a mandatory conference for oh-eight-hundred. Guards will be posted outside your door.”

Rey perked up, eyes wide. “I don't think that's necessary, Admiral.”

“Maybe not,” Leia replied. “However, I can't help but wonder if you sensed him because of proximity. I've put planetary defenses on alert as well. If he comes within five million kilometers of this room, we'll know.”

“Thank you, Admiral. I mean, Leia.” She laughed despite everything but then grew serious again. “I’m not sure which applies here. Kylo Ren is wanted by the Republic and now my little girl is being dragged into it.” Rey leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and put her face in her hands. “The lines are starting to blur. My role as Admiral and my role as mother to a scared four year old.  _ I’m _ scared.”

Leia stood and moved closer to Rey. With a hand on Rey’s shoulder, Leia said, “Remember what I said about freedom. We are dangerous people. We’ll see this through.”

Admiral Organa quietly left Rey’s apartment. Minutes later, two officers in full body armor and several weapons apiece appeared at the front door.  They quickly introduced themselves as Orpheon and Jenks. Rey only had one rule for them: Wake the child and they will be finding bits of themselves across three systems.


	2. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Someone is accused of pedophilia but no actual pedophilia happens to any character in this story.
> 
> If you haven't, please read the two-shot prequel to this story called "Sunset". You can find the link above, underneath the tags. It is smutty goodness that explains how Charis was conceived during TLJ.

Rey’s alarm echoed in her ear at 0600 the next morning. With a groan, Rey sat up in her too-large bed, waved at her alarm, and let her feet fall to the floor. Rubbing the balls of her hands in her eyes, she stood up and blindly headed to Charis’ room. Silently, she thanked Orpheus and Jenks for being quiet during the night. As Rey approached the little girl’s bedroom, she detected a thick, musty aroma. Rey idly thought that Charis had an accident, but the smell was honestly unlike anything in their apartment. It also lacked that acidic quality that urine seemed to carry.

Kneeling beside the small bed, Rey touched her child’s face and cooed, “Hey, princess, it’s time to get up. You need to get in the bath.”

Charis groaned and turned away from Rey’s hand. “Charis, I’m not playing around today. I have meetings all day. Let’s go!”

“I don’t wanna!” Charis furtively pulled the blanket over her head.

“That makes two of us, hazelnut,” Rey concurred as she rubbed her baby’s back. “Get dressed so we can eat something and go, please.” Charis ignored the instruction, digging her head into the pillow. Rey detected that musty odor again. Pulling the blanket away from Charis’ face, Rey asked in a softer tone, “Did you see him again? The sleeping man?”

The little one was paying attention now, hopping up to sit on her hindquarters. “He was so scared, momma! But they got him back to sleep!”

Heart pounding now, Rey guardedly asked her, “ _Who_ put him back to sleep?”

“I don’t know, momma.” Charis fisted the blanket in concentration. “They were really mad though. Are you going to help him, momma?”

“That’s what my meeting is about, sweetheart. We’re going to figure out where he is. So the sooner you get up, the sooner I can go about finding him.”

Charis immediately threw the blanket aside and was wide awake. “Okay, momma! I’ll get ready!” Rey felt her stomach dive at the lie. There would be no plans to help him, only to capture him and, most likely, kill him. What would she tell Charis later in life? Every day, Charis was becoming more and more curious about the world. A lot of her little friends on base had dadas to pick them up. She knew that Finn and Rose had made a baby together. The question would come sooner or later. How would Charis cope with the knowledge that her father and great-grandfather were some of the biggest monsters the galaxy had ever had the displeasure of knowing? How would Rey explain the light she saw in Ben before it was extinguished?

Zipping about her room, Charis grabbed a little blue dress and black leggings. Rey gently nudged her to the bathroom and got the bathwater ready. Bathing was normally a nighttime routine but last night was anything but routine.

As Charis settled into the bathwater, Rey asked, “What was that smell in your room?”

Her little eyes lit up as she proudly explained, “That’s what he smells like! It’s a weird smell but I like it because I know he’ll be there.” Charis peered off into space with a tiny sigh. Rey took a deep, shuddering breath before washing her little girl’s hair.

8am arrived and Rey was seated next to Admiral Organa in the main conference room on base. Eight people were physically present in the room plus eight joining in via hologram, including Admiral Dameron. Rey did not need the Force to measure the anxiety and fear in the room. As it was, Rey was utterly bombarded. There was not one person or hologram in the room that had not been affected in some way by the actions of Kylo Ren. She glanced at Poe and saw that he was exhausted, but his eyes were wide and dilated, like a prey animal trying to elude capture. The phrase _“torture buddies”_ rang through her head. He had his mind ripped open by Kylo just as Snoke had ripped through hers. Rey briefly wondered what secrets Kylo had glimpsed in his mind, if Kylo had seen his most private moments on display. Did he laugh at them like Snoke had laughed at hers?

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, as I’m sure you are aware by now, we have new intel on the location of Kylo Ren. Every system has been put on high alert, but no suspicious traffic has been found. Without too much fanfare, I’ll turn it over to Admiral Solo to give her official statement.”

Leia nodded at Rey who then stood from her seat beside Leia. “As you all know, I am sensitive to the Force familiar to the old Jedi Order. Over the years, I have attempted to locate Kylo Ren using methods outlined in several Jedi texts I have procured.” It wasn’t an outright lie. Rey and Leia long ago agreed not to reveal her mental link to the former Supreme Leader. However, the texts she scavenged from Luke’s hideout did have some interesting insights. In the end though, “All of that was for nothing...until last night.”

“During a personal visit with Admiral Organa, I attempted to meditate and seek out his signature in the Force, sort of like mining the holonet for location information. It wasn’t much but-” Rey took a deep breath as the feeling was still very much real. “I felt like I was drowning. Abject fear.” Rey touched a few settings on her holopad. The snippet of conversation she heard appeared on everyone’s screen.

_Person A: Get that containment field back online now! How long has it been down! Why wasn’t I called?_

_Person B: Sir, it’s just a containment field in a backwater warehouse. We didn’t think it needed your attention. We’ve been working for several hours to get it back online._

_Person A: Next time, call me immediately. I want all hands on this. This particular room has perishables that we can’t afford to lose!_

“Two voices,” Rey continued to explain. “Speaker A was _very_ angry. Speaker B was confused but frightened by Speaker A’s demeanor. The speakers were muffled as if I, or rather Kylo, was submerged in liquid. Any input on the meaning of these words would be appreciated.”

Admiral Nunb quickly offered up his speculation. “Containment field...warehouse...it sounds like the old storage spaces we used during the Empire days. Carbonite was still in frequent use back then. Very useful for smuggling goods, even people, through blockades. I believe you have experience with this, Admiral Organa.”

Leia nodded. “I do. My husband was captured and contained in this way for some time during the First Civil War.”

“Wait, a warehouse?” Rey butted in. “That was the smell in my daughter’s room this morning.” The realization bubbled out of her before she could stop it.

Everybody around the table and on the monitors grew silent. Admiral Deckard on screen 2 spoke up first. “Your daughter is also sensitive to the Force, is that correct?”

Rey felt her stomach drop as she fully realized her error. “Um, yes, but that’s-”

“Did your daughter sense anything last night?”

Rage building up with every word, Rey replied, “My daughter has nothing to do with this. I told you what I heard and felt.”

“Except a certain smell is following your daughter around,” Deckard replied sternly but with caution. “I think it’s worth it to talk to her.”

The room suddenly felt like it was spinning. “No. Not happening!” Rey slammed her fist down on the table. Fierce protectiveness rose up in her. While she had found a family with the Resistance, she couldn’t deny that they weren’t completely innocent in this war. She couldn’t deny that trusting them with her little girl and her power wouldn’t get Charis hurt. Or worse.

“Admiral Solo, the Republic-”

Rising swiftly from her seat, finger pointed at Admiral Deckard, Rey shouted, “No. No one is _interrogating_ my daughter!”

Hands raised in defense, Deckard calmly replied, “Admiral, there is no need for such harsh words. Bring her here. You can sit right beside her. We’ll just have a conversation with her. Ask her about her night. Does she have a favorite toy she likes to play with?”

A quick glance at Leia told Rey that the older woman was seriously considering it. “Leia? Please tell them this is ridiculous.”

Leia glanced up and let her gaze travel from each occupant and each screen. “Let’s recess for one hour. Admiral Solo, see me in the other room, _please_.”

As the occupants in the room chatted aimlessly, Rey followed Leia into the adjoining room. When the door shut behind her, Rey immediately broke out with, “Leia, you can’t seriously be considering this. She’s FOUR!”

“Admiral Solo, I’ll remind you that you are still on duty. As such, you will address me formally.” Leia radiated sternness and rigidity.

“And I’ll remind _you_ ,” Rey snapped back. “That we are talking about Charis. My daughter and your granddaughter. She doesn’t know us as Admiral this or Admiral that.”

“Keep your voice down!” Leia hissed. “That’s classified information.” Rey couldn’t help the hurt that washed over her and echoed through the Force. The older woman’s hands immediately rose up to massage her temples. Rey knew that Leia wasn’t _ashamed_ of Charis and that it was actually to protect the little one but that never made it any easier. Leia inhaled a deep breath and clasped her hands in front of her. “You said it last night. The lines are blurred. This was always a possibility,” Leia admitted, shaking her head. “My son reaching out to his daughter was _always_ a possibility.”

“I know,” Rey quickly agreed. “I know all of this. I also know that the Resistance is itching for a victory and will use any weapon they can get their hands on, even a four-year-old girl.”

Sighing, Leia approached Rey and placed a hand on her shoulder. With a tight squeeze, Leia asked, “Do you trust me?”

Rey nodded. “I do. Admiral.”

“Good. Now, I think it’s fair to get Charis’ statement. We won’t let anyone talk to her without you present. We can bring her here where she’ll give her statement in front of everyone. It will be recorded so there shouldn’t be a need to repeat the process. Charis has been wanting to see where we go during the day anyway. It might actually be good for her.”

Running her palms down her face, Rey acquiesced. “Okay, but I reserve the right to pull her out of there for _any_ reason.”

“Of course, Admiral. I wouldn’t think otherwise.”

Over the next hour, arrangements had been made to transport Charis to base. The little girl chittered happily as Rey guided her through the entrance to the lifts.

“Charis.”

“Oh momma, it’s so bright in here! Did you see the green man? He had three noses! Oh, Sheera took my turn on the slide so I pulled her hair. I drew a pic-”

“Charis. I need you to listen carefully.”

The little girl’s face fell at that. She obviously had many more stories to tell but there was no time. “Okay, momma.”

“Good. First rule. Don’t touch anything.” Charis nodded. “Second rule. Don’t be scared. Some of my friends may look and sound mean but they’re just...tired.” _That’s a good way to put it._ Rey thought. _Although, some_ are _kinda mean..._

Charis nodded again and said, “Okay, momma.”

“Third rule. Only speak when spoken to. If I tell you to stop talking, you need to close your mouth _immediately_. Do you understand?”

“I do, momma.” She nodded eagerly at that.

“Okay then.”

The elevator arrived at the first conference room floor with a soft buzz. Air hissed as the doors opened. Before Charis had a chance to escape, Rey opted to carry her child on her hip. The child was less likely to run into things and touch things that way. Once back in the conference room, Rey sat down and placed Charis squarely in her lap. Everybody was eager to get started again. The hour-long recess had run ten minutes over. To most civilians, that wouldn’t mean a whole lot, but to the highest officials in the Resistance, people who lived and breathed tactics, weapons, and frontlines, it was an eternity.

Leia opened the meeting once again. “Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for waiting. Admiral Solo has graciously allowed her daughter to sit with us and provide a statement on the events that transpired last night. Now, little Charis, what did you experience last night?”

Charis looked up at Rey with quizzical eyes. Rey gave her permission to speak. “Go ahead, hazelnut. Tell them what happened.”

“I was eating ice cream with Unca Finn and Aunt Rose, momma. Then I saw the sleeping man, but he was scared this time. He couldn’t breathe, momma.”

Admiral Deckard spoke up again. “This time? You have seen this man before?”

“Uh-huh!” Charis nodded eagerly. “When I have a hard time sleeping, he shows up and I cuddle next to him. He’s very warm.” Rey felt the blood drain out of her face. The thought of her little girl touching that monster made her stomach churn. To her shame, a little urine escaped as well. Rey would destroy entire systems if someone had touched her daughter inappropriately.

“Charis, this is important. Has he touched you? Anywhere. Don’t be scared to tell the truth.”

Now Charis simply looked confused. “No, momma. He’s always asleep.” There was nothing in the Force giving away any trepidation on the little one’s part about Rey’s question. Both Leia and Rey breathed a sigh of relief. Kylo was a monster, for sure, but not _that_ kind of monster.

Admiral Nunb butted in with a question next. “What is he wearing, child?”

“He wears all black, like his hair. It’s kind of like the clothes Finn wears when he’s home, momma.”

“Hmm… Civilian clothes instead of First Order attire. Interesting.” Admiral Nunb sat back with his arms crossed.

Poe Dameron chimed in. “If he is not in military dress, then perhaps he is not on a military installation. That means he might be unguarded. Considering Admiral Nunb’s hypothesis, he could be traveling by carbonite to escape detection.”

Another admiral, Rankin, offered his reply. “If he _is_ unguarded, and we can figure out his whereabouts, we can ambush him.”

“Momma? What does that mean?” Charis stared up at her, lip quivering.

“Admiral Solo, you will be needed on such a mission. Your abilities match his, correct? Will you be able to take him down?”

“Yes, Admiral Rankin,” Rey answered flatly.

At that, Charis squirmed out of her mother’s lap and shouted, “No, momma! You can't hurt him!”

“ _Charis_ ,” Rey warned through clenched teeth.

“The sleeping man is my friend! You have to _help_ him,” Charis pleaded with tears in her eyes.

“Charis, you'll understand when you're older. I promise.” Rey did _not_ want to have this discussion right now.

“Momma,” Charis sobbed, pulling on the sleeve of Rey’s shirt. “Momma, he's a good boy! I can tell!”

“Charis, _please_!” Rey retorted, separating the child’s hand from her uniform.

“ _No_ , momma!” Charis stomped her foot and stretched out her tiny hands in front of her with fingers splayed out. Her small eyes overflowed with tears as they narrowed in concentration. _She looks just like Kylo when he...oh shit!!!_ In seconds, every screen in the room cracked and sprayed glittering streams of sparks. The pad in front of Rey broke completely in two and the room erupted in howls of displeasure.

“Get that fucking brat out of here!”

“I think Ren's turned the kid.”

“Admiral Solo, control your offspring!”

“That girl should be sequestered!”

Leia raised her cane over her head with both hands and quickly swung down, slamming the cane on the table three times, then shouted, “DIS- _MISSED_! _ALL_ OF YOU! I should throw half of you in the brig!” As Leia thundered in fury, Rey grabbed Charis and ran into the next room.

Rey abruptly sat her little girl on a counter. Her teeth bared, eyes set, and nostrils flared. Rey's hands gripped the child's arms tightly. “Charis. Organa. Solo. What.” Rey's arm stiffly pointed toward the conference room. “In the maker’s name. Has gotten into you?”

Charis could only weep and wail. Her little fists balled up and smushed themselves in her eye sockets. The only word she could get out was, “Mo-mo-mooommaaaa!!!”

Rey's heart and face softened. Concern replaced her anger. Charis _never_ used the Force to break things on purpose. Sure, the little one made messes and her churning emotions sometimes manifested explosively. Of course, she sometimes broke things with physical force too. However, Charis knew that if she broke something, she wouldn't get a replacement for a very long time, if ever.

This was the first time that Charis had _ever_ destroyed something on purpose. If Rey was honest with herself, she was impressed with the way Charis intentionally channeled the Force with her tiny hands and caused around a million credits worth of damage. Fortunately, most data was backed up in cloud storage but it would take at least three days to get new conference equipment installed.

Leia strode into the room, shaking with rage. “Admiral Rankin has lost his goddamned mind! Wanting to put a four-year-old in solitary confinement! I should send him for a psych eval!”

Charis wailed again and Rey shot Leia a dark look. “I'm. Sor-r-ry. M-m-momma!”

“Charis. _Why?_ That was a _very_ important meeting and that was _very_ expensive equipment.”

Leia chimed in, “She's her father's daughter, alright.” _Fuck you, Leia._ Rey hoped the Force sensitive woman didn’t pick up on that.

Charis looked over Rey’s shoulder and asked, “What does that mean, Nana?”

Leia looked from Charis and then to Rey. “I don’t want to tell you how to do things, Rey, but I believe these latest revelations have sped up the time table.”

Rey nodded and sighed. This was _not_ how she envisioned this moment, not that she had any particularly good version of this in her head. “Charis,” Rey began. She took a deep breath to calm herself. “The sleeping man is the one who planted you in my belly.”

“Like Unca Finn and Aunt Rose?” Charis perked up at that. The girl’s tears were nearly forgotten in her curiosity. _Goddammit, so much like her father!_

“Yes, starlight, that means he's your father.”

“My… dada?” Charis asked in awe.

Rey heard a choking sound behind her. She turned around and see Leia in tears. “She sounded like Ben just now.” With a wave of her hand, Leia urged, “Sorry, continue.”

“Is that his name, momma? Is Ben his name?”

Rey sighed. She hardly ever referred to him as Ben. However, she felt a strange compulsion to do so now. “Yes, sweetie, his name was Ben Solo.”

“Ohhhh… Solo? Like me?” Her eyes glittered with joyful understanding as her little hands covered her heart.

“Yes, sweetie.” _But he changed and went away._

“But why do you and nana want to hurt my dada?”

“Starlight, he's done a lot of bad things and hurt a lot of people. He has to be punished.” Charis begin crying again and Rey hugged her. “I know it's hard to understand but it has to be done.”

“No, momma. You can _help_ him. He's a good boy. I can tell!”

Rey noted that she had said that once before and it was time for clarification. “Okay, Charis, how can you tell?”

“You told me about the Light and the Dark, momma. You told me not to be scared of the shadows I see around people. Even you and nana have shadows, but the sleeping man doesn't _have_ a shadow.”

Rey backed away in alarm. There were obviously two possibilities. Either Charis was tricked into trusting her father. Or Charis wasn't tricked at all. Rey wasn't sure what terrified her more. She couldn't afford to have hope in Ben Solo again. But if Ben Solo was alive, then why wasn't he with his daughter in the flesh?


	3. Afternoon Cuddles and Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Another mention of rape. Mention of pregnancy complications and C-section (called ‘resection’). Rey and Rose talk about Post-Partum Depression (without calling it that). Rose talks about her insecurities about becoming a mother. Finn has a touch of PTSD.

Charis didn’t go back to daycare that day. Rey, with Leia’s permission, took the rest of the day off. Leia had nothing to offer towards Charis’ revelation. She had simply dismissed Rey for the day and left the room. By the time they got back home, Charis was asleep. Her destruction during the briefing, and her emotional turmoil afterward, had exhausted the poor girl.

Instead of placing Charis in her own bed, Rey laid down with her. She knew letting her toddler sleep too long would keep her up later, but Rey didn’t have the heart to disturb Charis. It had been a long time since Rey laid down next to her baby. She recalled when Charis had first been born. Rey would lay in bed with her and just stare, marveling-and utterly terrified-that her body made an actual person that was all hers. Her pregnancy had been difficult, and Charis had to be birthed by resection. In the end, Charis had been a little small at 2.86 kg but otherwise healthy.

The child sniffled in her sleep. Silent tears fell as Rey rubbed Charis’ back. Rey had felt lonely many, _many_ times in her life, and this was just another moment in a long list. She wondered for a moment what it would be like to have Ben there with her. Ben, not Kylo, of course. Rey realized that she hadn’t really thought of his face in years. She remembers now: Ben’s silky, black hair, the scar she gave him that bisected his face, prominent nose. He was a human man in all respects, but over the years, he had become some abstract, amorphous thing. Kylo was something she could pour all of her anger and bitterness into. He was something she could throw all her blame onto without reproach.

For the first time, Rey thought of him laying across from her, comforting his daughter just as she was. A tendril of the Force seeped out of her hand as Rey drew her fingers across Charis’ scalp to move the hair out of her face. For a split-second, Rey could see what Charis could see. Kylo wasn’t wearing his usual black robes. He was dressed in a simple, unadorned, black tunic. His pants, also black, were a relaxed fit. He wore simple, black boots on his feet. Rey could sense this was a usual sight for Charis at night time. The smell of a warehouse filled her nostrils again. Rey pulled back as if shocked by a live wire. She had never looked into her daughter’s mind like that. It felt like an invasion, but the little one’s memories just crept into her. Maybe Charis wanted her to see it on some level.

Charis stirred when Rey pulled her hand away. Softly, she mumbled, “Momma? Why are you sad?”

After a shaky inhale, Rey replied, “I wasn’t kind to you today, baby.”

The little girl sat up on the bed and stared at her mother. “What do you mean, momma?”

“I told you we were going to help your friend, your dada, and that was a lie.” Rey wiped away another tear before taking Charis’ hand.

“But it’s not a lie anymore, is it?” The child tilted her head with a curious expression, making her a mirror image of Ben. _How are you doing this? The effort would kill you._

“Hazelnut. It’s not that simple.”

Two small hands cupped her cheeks. “You miss him, momma. You want him to come home.”

Rey was taken aback. No, that wasn’t right, was it? She hated him, wanted him to die. He had to pay for what he put the galaxy through, what he put _her_ through.

“You and him could be like Finn and Rose.” Charis giggled at the thought. “He could sleep right here, next to you!” Charis patted a spot on the mattress beside her. “You’ll have to keep your datapads off the bed though.” Concern crossed her face as she moved to pick up the various datapads Rey had casually thrown on the bed. Her work sometimes kept her up late at night.

“Baby, stop.” Rey reached for her daughter’s hands again. “I don’t know if he _can_ come home. It’s not up to me.”

“What about Nana? Doesn’t _she_ want him to come home? She was crying when she left.” Rey’s heart broke as her little one frowned deeply.

“It’s not up to her either. My friends that you met today? They all decide what happens. And they don’t like him very much.”

Charis huffed and crossed her arms. “I don’t like your friends. They said naughty words.”

Rey laughed. “I know, hazelnut.” The stomachs of both ladies grumbled, causing Charis to giggle once again. “Let’s get something to eat.”

After lunch, Charis skipped off to her room to play while Rey occupied the living room and worked on several projects. Around mid-afternoon, the door buzzed. Glancing at the entryway, Rey saw a little holographic image of Rose Tico. Rey’s stomach dropped. With her heart in her throat, she hesitantly opened the door.

Rose stood before her with a bag in her hand. She appeared to be just as nervous as Rey was. Sheepishly, Rose explained, “I brought Charis a gift. To show her we’re not mad at her.”

“Thank you. That’s very sweet.” Rey couldn’t help but smile at her friend. Stepping aside, she added, “Come in.”

Once fully inside the apartment, the women blurted out in unison, “I’m sorry!”

“Wait, why are you sorry?” Rey noticed a tear falling down Rose’s cheek. “Rose?”

“I feel like I should have stayed with her, but I ran like a coward!” Rose choked on a sob.

Wrapping her friend in a hug, Rey assured her, “Finn stayed with her. It’s okay. Charis wasn’t alone. That’s what matters.”

“W-w-what if something like that happened to _my_ baby? And I ran away from him? Some days I don’t think I can do this, Rey. And with the war still going on…I’m scared.”

“Don’t do that to yourself. Let’s sit and talk, okay?” Rose nodded in agreement and Rey kept her arm around Rose’s shoulder, guiding her to the couch.

Once seated, Rey continued, “I used to spiral contemplating what-ifs. You remember how I was after Charis was born? How there were some days that I could hardly get out of bed?” It’s not something Rey likes to talk about. She had always prided herself on setting aside fear and doing what needed to be done. As much as she was in awe of the little life she made, she was just as terrified. She had barely survived Jakku and now was tasked with ensuring the survival of a whole new person.

“I remember. I didn’t understand then, but I’m beginning to,” Rose admitted.

“It had been less than a year after leaving Jakku. Did you know I hoarded food?”

“I didn’t.” Rose’s jaw hung open. Hoarding supplies was a heavily punishable offense. Rey always suspected that Leia turned a blind eye to it.

“At the time, I had to rely on the Force. I can teach you how to meditate. However, now that we are in a better position, there is medical help as well.” Rey took Rose’s hand in hers. “Promise me, Rose, if you feel hopeless, or worthless, or lost, you talk to me, and you go to a medic. Sometimes my thoughts would turn very dark.” Rey shuddered at the memory. The Dark Side had constantly thrown horrible, evil thoughts her way during that time.

“I promise. Maker, I had no idea, Rey.” Rose gazed at Rey with a newfound respect.

“Well.” Rey coughed, holding back her own tears. “You also have Finn. When you can’t be there for little Han, _he_ will. It’s teamwork. You’re not alone.” Her stomach lurched at the words, reminding her of a stone hut and an outstretched hand.

“I know. Thank you, Rey. Um, can you call Charis in here? I want to give her my present.”

“Of course.” Rey called for her daughter who came running.

As soon as the little girl saw Rose on the couch, she screamed, “Auntie!”. She ran to the couch and jumped on, stopping short of jumping on Rose. “Oh, momma says I can’t jump on you anymore.”

Rey hugged Charis from behind and said, “Good job, starlight. Look, Rose got you a present!”

Charis looked over and saw the bag by Rose’s feet. She gasped, grinned, and shook with glee. The little girl greedily leaned over and snatched it. Rey admonished the child. “Charis. What do you say?”

“Thank you, Aunt Rose!” Charis said with a cheesy grin.

Rose tousled her hair. “You're welcome, hazelnut.”

Charis reached in the bag and pulled out a handmade doll in the form of a resistance fighter. The name patch said “CHARIS". The child gasped and shoved the doll in Rey’s face. “Momma look! I'm a resistance fighter like you!”

“It's wonderful, Rose.” Rey gently pushed the doll away from her face and gave Rose and Charis a warm smile.

Rose smiled back and asked, “Charis, why don't go play with your doll in the other room? I need to talk to your momma some more.”

Rey raised an eyebrow but concurred with Rose. She turned to her daughter and told her, “Go introduce her to your other dolls, Charis.” She happily skipped all the way there. “You want something to drink? Or a snack?”

Rose shifted nervously. “N-no. Well, I do-” Rose pointed to her belly. “But we really need to talk about something else. I wanted to ask you something. A personal question.” They regarded each other for a minute until Rose finally opened up. “After what happened yesterday, Finn and I realized-I mean, it kind of clicked into place-Luke is not Charis’ father, is he?”

Rey stared at a far corner, over Rose’s shoulder and sighed. “No.”

“That’s why she’s not a Skywalker.” Rey nodded. “Her father...her father is Kylo Ren? That’s why Leia is her ‘nana’. Admiral Organa really is her grandmother.” A tear rapidly descended Rey's cheek. She knew the truth would be harder to hide as Charis got older. However, Rey didn't think it would be this soon. Rose took that tear as a confession. “Oh Rey, Poe wasn't right, was he? I mean, either way, he deserved the beating you gave him but-”

“No! Kylo Ren is NOT a rapist. He was actually…very gentle. He made sure I was comfortable and felt good. We were each other's firsts. Well, that's what he said anyway.”

“Huh,” was all Rose could say. Now she was the one staring at a far corner, absorbing the new information.

“I know. Believe me, _I know_. I've been trying to wrap my head around it for the last five years.” Rey finally got the courage to look Rose in the eye. “Be honest. How angry are you? How angry is Finn?”

“You know what? We're actually okay. I mean, we’re not exactly all smiles…but expecting our own baby kinda puts it in perspective. If Finn, for some awful reason, returned to the First Order, I would probably erase him from little Han's life too. I figured you made a mistake and now you're trying to protect your baby.”

Rey leaned forward, rested her face in her hands, and took several deep breaths. She then looked up at the ceiling and said, “That's exactly it, Rose. I made a _horrible_ mistake, but now I've got this awesome, badass kid. If Kylo Ren showed up right now, I'd behead him with my saber and not think twice. He doesn't deserve any part of her.” She had said as much to Leia, Chewie, C-3PO, and R2, but now her words didn’t have the same fervor. _Stop it! Nothing’s changed! Charis will understand someday._

Rose scooted closer to Rey. “I understand, Rey, but I'm curious how you even got in the same room with him.” Rose suddenly looked away. “Sorry. That's personal. You don't have to talk about it.”

Rey looked at her friend with a soft smile. “You know what? It's okay. I've had five years to accept it. Snoke used Kylo to lure me to the _Supremacy_. He had connected our minds. I could see Kylo and talk to him. The couple of days I was on Ahch-To, I got to know Kylo Ren better than I did Luke Skywalker. Luke hardly wanted anything to do with me, so I started talking to Kylo. I saw conflict in him, so I went to him. I surrendered myself to the First Order.”

Rose sneered, “What a fucking creep! Using his looks to lure you out.”

Rey laughed. “Like I said, Kylo was very nice to me. He brought me to his quarters and fed me. He said he had feelings for me and that he wanted me.” For the first time in years, she thought about the way he made her feel that night and the next morning. Would it still be the same after all this time? Rey shook the thought from her head. She had never taken another lover, but it had more to do with taking care of an infant and rebuilding the Resistance than any residual feelings for the erstwhile warlord.

Rose crossed her arms and huffed. “Fucking typical. Been there, done that, Rey. He tells you something like, ‘I love you so much, but we need to make it official.’ So you fuck on the back of his beat-up speeder and he's gone the next day.” At that, both girls laughed hysterically. Rey's heart felt quite a bit lighter. It felt good to know that similar things that happened to regular, everyday people.

“Actually, it was more like, ‘Snoke will kill us both and I don't want to die a virgin.’" Rey and Rose laughed even harder.

“I’ve heard that one before too. Maker, men are fucking stupid.” Rose laughed again but quickly grew serious. “So why were you lured there?”

“To kill me,” Rey said flatly. “But Snoke was an idiot and made a big show of it. Kylo actually killed him.”

“Wait, _what?!_ ” Rose's jaw hung low. Rey was beginning to realize how many secrets she had been keeping from her best friends.

“It was a power move. Kylo wanted the throne. He even asked me to join him. I said no. Then we fought over my saber. That's why it was broken in two. I was lucky to wake up before he did.”

“Holy shit. You Force users don't do anything small time do you?”

Rey laughed. “I guess not.”

“I’m going to be honest. Finn is going to take a while to face you. He still loves you, but his back wound still gives him trouble. He still can’t lie on his back for very long. But we also love Charis and want her and Han to be cousins. This will all work out, Rey, I promise.”

The two women hugged each other and let a silent tear fall down their cheeks. Rose stayed for a little bit to play with Charis. Rey tried to go back to her work, but could only think of Kylo’s outstretched hand. His voice pleading with her to join him.

Rose made it home in time to greet Finn when he finished his duties. With a greeting kiss, Rose told him, “I talked to Rey earlier.”

Finn stiffened against her. “Yeah? Is it like we thought?”

“Yeah.” Rose sighed against his chest. “Kylo Ren is Charis’ father.” Finn hugged his wife tightly as he let out a shuddering breath. “It’s going to be okay though. Right? I promised Rey it would be okay.” Rose looked up at her husband. Finn’s eyes were glassy and distant. “Babe?”

“What?” He shook his head of whatever dark thoughts he had. “She wasn’t…you know?”

“No, she just made a mistake in who to trust. It happens to everyone.”

Her stomach twisted as Finn walked away from her, fists clenched at his sides. “How? She saw what he did to his own father!”

“Don’t do this, Finn.” She walked up to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “We already talked about this. She’s still the Rey we know and love. I want Charis and Han to be cousins.”

“I know.” Finn ran his palms down his face. “I guess I was still hoping it wasn’t true.”

Rose stepped in front of him. “That’s not fair, Finn.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Finn wrapped his arms around her for another hug. She heard him sniffle above her head and something wet drop into her hair.

Looking up, Rose saw another tear dripping down his cheek. Carefully wiping it away, she said, “Give it a few days. Then go talk to her. We made our own horrendous mistakes during that time as well and it worked out in the end.”

They didn’t often talk about their actions five years ago. Finn and Rose learned their lessons from that time and moved on. They were grateful that they weren’t thrown out on their asses by Admiral Organa, not to mention that they barely survived their mutinous mission at all.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that. It’s not like she’s going to find him and try to walk him in the front door holding his hand.”

Rose smiled but something nagged at her. For the past five years, Rey had spoken of Kylo Ren with nothing short of rage. This afternoon had been different. Sure, she had said the words but the fire behind them had turned to embers.


	4. Reunions and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best writing but here's some plot stuff!
> 
> Combined some Legends and Canon knowledge bc, unlike certain filmmakers, it's good to have your stories connect and flow with others.
> 
> I had decided on the Smuggler Poe plotline before TROS came out. But in this story, he does NOT deal in drugs or weapons. And this does not come out of some criminal backstory. He was completely new to it after TLJ.

The next week was hell. Every security measure was torn apart, reviewed, fought over, improved, and hardened. Meetings ran long, tempers flared, and everybody was exhausted. Rey was spending more and more time away from Charis and it hurt. Charis needed her mother now more than ever. Yet, it was all the more reason to conduct another review, another field test, another briefing. Not one dust mote could cross their interstellar sensors without them knowing about it.

Finn was in a fit. His undercover work was put on hold as communications networks were torn down and rebuilt. Rey saw him in several briefings over the last week. She wanted to reach out but couldn’t muster up the courage to do so. Living on Jakku, the hardest things she dealt with were lack of water and lack of hygiene. She never imagined that maintaining friendships would be more difficult than that. Rey knew he was frustrated just by the look on his face but couldn’t find the words to bridge the gap.

Rey was thankful for one thing though. Her secret was safe with them. Whatever Finn and Rose might be feeling about the revelation, they hadn’t spread it through the Republic Fleet. Rey had warned Admiral Organa of the possibility and was keeping her ear out for any rumors. She did wonder about others picking up on it anyway, even though not many know exactly what Kylo looks like without the mask. There were no holos of his bare face outside the First Order. The best they could do was a sketch from Rey’s memories.

After one last briefing, Rey would be able to go home and rest for a couple of days. Well, she let herself believe that anyway. Deep down, she knew _something_ would come up. For now, for as long as she could, she would focus on her little girl.

Walking up to the childcare center, Rey scanned the faces of the children playing outside. Her stomach lurched when she realized that Charis was not among them. Desperate not to panic, Rey settled into a fast walk into the center. After going over every worst-case scenario the past week, Rey couldn’t help but imagine the worst. With measured breath, Rey attuned herself to the Force, searching Charis’ unique band of light and quickly found it. Her child was frustrated at something but unharmed.

Inside, Rey found a protocol droid painted a silvery blue. “Admiral Solo, the headmaster would like to speak with you about your child.”

Rey could only glare at the droid as she made her way across the foyer and down a hallway. The headmaster kept his office at the very end, far away from the prying eyes of children. Rey felt Charis’ presence become stronger as she neared the office. With no preamble, Rey walked in.

After a moment of shock passed over the man’s face, he greeted Rey. “Admiral Solo! I hope your day is going well?”

“I can’t discuss it,” Rey replied.

“Momma!” Charis cried. The little girl flew to her mother’s side.

Crouching down, Rey asked, “Are you alright, babygirl?”

“Momma,” she cried. “I don’t know why they’re mad at me!”

Anger flared up in Rey’s heart. “Headmaster, I would really like to know why you’re holding my daughter in your office.”

“Obviously, obviously.” The headmaster leaned back in his chair. Rey supposed Headmaster Terrio was someone who liked to be in control. Rey would not let him have that pleasure.

“Well, there was an incident about an hour ago. Your daughter used her unnatural abilities against another child.” Terrio smugly scratched his chin.

“Momma, no! I didn’t! I didn’t!” Charis threw her head on her mother’s shoulder. Rey was incensed. There was no lie in Charis’ eye.

Picking up her child, Rey turned toward the headmaster. “Well, obviously, there’s a misunderstanding.” Rey struggled to keep her voice flat. Curse words in 3 dozen languages flew fast and free in her head.

“Since Little Charis continues to lie, I will disclose what happened. Charis was lying about her father to another student. When that student challenged her fib, Charis pushed her off the swing with her abilities.”

“Momma, no! I didn’t! I promise!” Charis wailed again. Rey could feel the unsettling moisture of the child’s mucus on her shoulder.

“What did you say about your father, hazelnut?” Fear gripped Rey right then. Not many knew of Ben Solo but if word got out, then people could connect the dots.

“Sheera said I didn’t have a dada and I said that I do and that he’s better than her dada.”

“Tell the rest of the story, child,” the headmaster ordered.

“Sheera fell off the swings because she wasn’t paying attention!” Charis hiccupped at the end of her rushed explanation.

Headmaster Terrio rose up from his seat and leaned down on his clenched fists. “As you can see, Admiral Solo, your child has a problem with lying. Her father is dead, and she used her unsightly abilities to punish a friend for telling the truth.”

Rey lost all sense of composure right then. With her right fist clenched, the Force compelled Terrio’s head to meet the desk. “You know nothing of the Force, and nothing about me, Mr. Terrio.” Rey released her supernatural grip on the man and stomped out of the office.

“Your daughter is expelled, Admiral Solo!”

Rey’s only response was to raise her middle finger towards the man. Whispering in Charis’ ear, Rey chided, “I don’t want to ever see you do that to anyone, okay?”

Sniffling, Charis replied, “Okay, momma.”

A tall, dark figure was waiting for Rey and Charis as they approached their front door. The little girl, upon sensing his presence, squealed and wrestled out of her mother’s arms to run to him. “Unca Finn!”

Unca Finn readily snatched her up in a crushing hug. Rey couldn’t help but smile at the serene look on her best friend’s face as he wrapped up her little one in love. “Finn. I-I’m happy to see you,” Rey stuttered.

“Yeah, me too.”

“You want to come in?”

“Yeah.”

At that, Rey unlocked her front door and let Finn with Charis walk in first. “Hey, kiddo, I’m going to talk to your mom now, okay?” Charis started to whine and held onto Finn tighter. “Just for a little bit, then we’ll play.” With a nod, Charis released Finn and solemnly walked toward her room.

Rey settled herself on her couch while Finn nervously paced the living room. “I guess…I guess I just wanted to hear it from you.”

“Do you not believe what your wife told you?” Rey couldn’t help the accusatory tone in her voice.

Finn stopped, his eyes wide in shock. “Of course, I believe her!”

“Then why do you need to hear it again?”

Dragging his palms over his face, he replied, “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”

Rey rose up and stood in front of her friend. “Nothing’s changed. I’m still the same girl you found on Jakku. Charis is still the same little girl she’s always been.”

Her friend’s face wilted. “I know. I know. It’s just…the things he’s done, Rey. You have no idea.”

Stepping away, Rey raised a finger to his face and snapped back at him. “Don’t patronize me, Finn! I get it, alright?! Before I left Luke, he told me things wouldn’t work out the way I thought they would, and he was right. I was stupid and naïve and I’m lucky to have made it out alive. And I’m lucky as hell that Charis was born healthy. Yes, there was a few short days where I felt something for Kylo, but those days are long gone. I realized what he was.” As she said the words, however, she remembered how the Force sung at their union. A feeling she had not thought about in years. Rey turned around to blink away a tear.

“Rey…I’m sorry.” His voice was etched in pain.

“I’m sorry too. For lying. But I’m not sorry that I have Charis.” Rey’s voice cracked on her daughter’s name. Nothing could ever make her regret creating a family.

“Come here.” Finn whispered. Turning back to him, Rey saw his arms were open. Her own arms opened as she stepped into his space. “I can’t stay mad at you. You’re the first person who looked at me as Finn, not a stormtrooper. That will always outshine anything.”

Sobs erupted from her throat at his words. “I’m so scared, Finn. If anything happened to Charis, I…I wouldn’t be able to go on.”

“If Charis or Little Han... Well, I know what you mean. They’re both so much more than I thought possible for either of us. If there’s anything that you, me, and Rose have in common, it’s that we’ll fight Hell itself to save what we love. Now, tell me what you know. The sooner we find him, the sooner our children are safe.”

Stepping away, Rey closed her eyes and centered herself. She reached out to the Force to settle her raging emotions. Rey desperately wanted to trust Finn and Rose. However, the information she wanted to disclose was technically classified. Revealing such information could result in court martial. Letting the Force ebb and flow through her, she sensed the tendril of light that connected her to Finn as well as the brilliant rainbow of dancing and morphing colors that bonded him to Rose. She sensed that as her cue to trust her best friend. Wiping her tears away, she said, “Ok, Finn, let me get some caff started.” A few minutes later, they were sitting around the kitchen table with steaming mugs in their hands.

After taking a sip, Rey began to recap the last week. “When Charis had her incident in your apartment, she revealed that she had been seeing visions of Kylo Ren sleeping for as long as she can remember. The night of the incident, she said that Kylo was waking up, that he was frightened. I felt the same thing that night. I felt like I was drowning, and I could hear muffled voices. They were yelling about a malfunctioning containment field in a warehouse. At the briefing, it was suggested that he was possibly encased in carbonite.

“Carbonite, yeah? That’s Old Republic tech.” Finn added.

“Right.”

“I read about it. Before the hyperdrive, settlers would encase themselves in it to travel across the galaxy. The journey would take decades, even a century or more, to complete. They needed a method of stasis. More recently, it was used by bounty hunters and smugglers.”

“So my question is, why would he be smuggling himself? Where is he going?

“Hiding,” Finn corrected.

“What? What do you mean hiding?”

“What I know of carbonite tech is that small numbers of cells are self-sustained, like plugging in a conservator. If you have, say, a warehouse full of carbonite cells, you need a special containment field to make sure every cell is getting a steady power supply, or you risk reanimation. The power needed would deplete a ship of fuel quickly. That’s why it’s not used much anymore. If he’s plugged into a containment field, then he’s not moving.”

Rey growled in frustration. “But that doesn’t help us! We might as well look under every grain of sand!”

Finn, however, stared into space, his brow creased in thought. “No, no, we don’t. Like I said, it’s usually bounty hunters and smugglers that use it. There are better methods now for containing organic material over long voyages, but they are traceable by outside sensors.”

“You’re right.” Rey remembered a dangerous mission a few years ago, tracking a First Order ship that claimed to be on a charitable mission to drop food on a starving populace. However, Rey picked up living persons on the _Ackbar’s_ sensors. It wasn’t a food drop, but the establishment of a prison colony. “So Kylo is in a warehouse whose owner doesn’t want people sniffing around. That… _kinda_ …narrows it down.” She plopped down in the nearest chair with a sigh of defeat.

Suddenly, Finn chuckled. “You know, since we’re breaking all sort of codes right now…well…”

Sitting up, Rey begged, “Well, what?”

“Poe,” Finn replied softly. The name filled her with endless frustration that she struggled to tamp down. “With his position on the front lines, he facilitates some backdoor deals with secret Resistance cells on First Order systems. The reason I know so much about carbonite is that he has stashes of contraband stored on various systems. Since it’s not easily traceable, First Order ships that happen by can’t detect them.”

“You’re saying Poe is a smuggler?” Rey briefly thought of Han but shook it away.

“Yeah, I guess so. Nothing bad though. Just things that would normally be imported/exported along normally open trade routes. Food, medicines, supplies. In fact, the main carbonite refineries are on Empress Teta which is on the First Order side of the Hydian Way. According to Poe, the first thing he had to do was set up a refinery on Kuat but he still has to sneak unrefined tibanna gas off of Teta.”

“Wait. Poe was _at the briefing_ last week. Why didn’t he say anything?” Rey slammed her fist on the table.

“In a room full of straight-laced admirals? He’d be put in the brig in an instant. Even if the main source of natural bacta in the galaxy is on the other side of the Hydian Way, the Republic can’t be connected to smuggling.”

The Hydian Way was the main hyperspace lane through the galaxy. Over the last five years, the First Order had taken hold of the western side which included the Unknown Regions, Takodana, Batuu, and Jakku (though Jakku was no great loss). The Republic, with the help of the Resistance, reclaimed the eastern half. Their temporary capital was now Lothal where Admiral Organa, Rey, Finn, Rose, and the rest of the Resistance were headquartered.

“So I guess you’re saying that we need to talk to Poe privately.”

With a grin, Finn asked, “You up for a trip?”

Rey groaned. She had been itching to get off planet for a while now. One day, she hoped to take Charis exploring through a free galaxy. “Not really? Especially not to see Poe. And I’ll have to send Charis with someone. Ugh! You know she got expelled from her childcare center today?”

“Charis?!” Finn’s jaw hung open at the news. “Why?!”

“A girl fell off the swings and said Charis pushed using her ‘unnatural abilities’. I may have used my own abilities a bit when he told me such an obvious lie.”

Finn’s face fell. “Wow. Maybe it’s for the best. I would have done similar.”

“I just…” Rey choked as a tear fell down her cheek. “People are scared of her as it is, Finn. And if they found out who her father was, I don’t know that I can protect her.”

“You’re not alone, Rey. Rose and I are here. Admiral Organa is here.” Finn reached out and covered her hand with his. His words and actions just made her cry harder.

As if sensing her mother’s mood, Charis came running out of her room. “Momma?”

“Hey, hazelnut. Come here.” Rey reached out and pulled Charis into her lap. “It looks like I’m going to have to go on a trip for a bit.”

Her eyes brightened and she grinned. “Where are we going, momma?”

“You have to stay here. Probably with Nana. Maybe Rose for a bit.”

The little girl began to cry. “I wanna go! I wanna go!”

Rey hugged her child close to her. “I know, baby, I want you to go with me but it’s too dangerous.”

With a hiccup, Charis asked, “Are you going to find my dada? Are you going to bring him home?”

Rey froze. A look of anger crossed Finn’s face before settling on confusion. “Charis,” Rey warned. “I told you that it’s not that simple. I would love nothing more than for you to have a dada to play with, but your dada will likely be put away where we can’t see him.”

“He’s good though! He’s a good boy! I can tell!” Charis screamed. Finn’s knuckles were turning pale as he gripped the edge of the table. Rey hugged her little girl tightly and rocked her until she cried herself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Leia's talk about forgiveness comes from this wonderful video that was making the rounds awhile back. https://youtu.be/VhmRkUtPra8


End file.
